You Can't Go Home Again

I'm calling bullshit on that.  Yes, you can go home again.  This is one of my very most favorite places on Earth from my childhood.  I don't get to go there often, but when I do, it is delightful.  This year the irises were blooming and there were wild strawberries and honeysuckle, too.  A crawdaddy went swimming by and the water was colder than usual.  I scattered some of my father's ashes on the gently flowing creek.  

As long as you remind yourself beforehand that "home" will not look the same as the last time you left it, you will be just fine.  For when you land in those places, your mind's eye sees the memories you hold most dear and, if you close your physical eyes, you will be transported back to that place in time.  It is vitally important in this life to grow and expand your horizons, but every growing thing must have good roots.  If you don't remember yours, you can lose sight of how you came to be who you are today.

 

Washing the Dust off my Soul

     I no longer live in the place where I was born.  I am far, far away from there.  Living in the land of sunshine and beaches is truly heaven.  But sometimes, the misty Smoky Mountains call my name out loud.  Usually once I've broken free from some dark period in my life is when I hear them hollering in my dreams.  "Time to come home, wash the dust off your soul", they say.  You can actually feel the hum of the mountains when you're standing on one.

     This is a picture of Aunt Mary's creek.  I'm headed back there soon to dip my toes in and watch for crawdaddies.  That cool, clear mountain stream has heard many of my secrets and received many of my tears.  Aunt Mary has gone home for good, as have most of my people who lived there.  But it will always be Aunt Mary's creek to me.

The Answer Lies With You

     Ok, I'm going to get a little existential on y'all today.  I have been doing a great deal of introspection, attempting to make sense of my life thus far in this human form.  It has been painful; but there have been many times of joy as well.  I am discovering that the painful moments, although they are lessons, seem to come solely from my expectations and perceptions of other humans.  Therefore, the pain is self-induced, if you will.  The behaviors of others belong to them.  If I allow those behaviors to cause me pain, I am not yet evolved past the ego-self.  As a spiritual being in this human experience, it is difficult to divorce ego from these things.  But take a different perspective.

     By realizing that we are all on our own separate and individual pasths, it is a bit easier to see that no one's actions towards you are really personal.  Seriously.  This will be one of the hardest lessons for me to stick to.  I have lived most of my life tap-dancing furiously to show others how much I care and the majority of them don't even hear my music.  Does this mean I shut myself off from humanity?  No, indeed.  It means I need to remember that my soul is here as an observer.  Live and let live, as long as no one is attempting to do me harm.  One should always have a certain level of unbreachable boundary.

     I could spend days/weeks/months wallowing in what I feel is lack of respect by others, if I choose to be miserable.  Or, I can realize that not one other human thinks exactly the way I do.  I can rejoice that my soul has achieved a certain level of enlightenment and is constantly striving for higher.  I can share my message with those who want to listen and reserve it from those who wish not to. 

     In short:  your happiness lies within you.  You are the only one responsible for it and the only one who will take care of it.  Do not give someone else the keys to your kingdom and expect them to honor it as you would.   

Eighty-Six

     I am, obviously, a word freak.  I have been enchanted with words since before I could speak them.  I wanted to learn the code.  I am gifted with an affinity for languages.  Words, once I learned about them, have always come easy to me. It is a gift passed down to me from my beloved grandmother.
     I subscribe to Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day.  Each morning when I open my email, I know the word will be a breadcrumb to follow.  Today's word is "eighty-six".  The most commonly accepted origin for the term is that it was used as code in restaurants in the 1930's and meant the establishment was out of a certain item.  It also means to refuse to serve, as in a customer.  This in itself could be a breadcrumb trail, as I have been guilty of losing myself by over-serving others.
   Specifically, today, I think it is a reminder to 86 my self-doubt.  I have a big project coming to completion that I was convinced was perfect and shouldn't be messed with any further.  Then that old familiar (hmmmm, familiar is another breadcrumb as my issues are the result of FAMILY trauma from a very early age) lack of self-confidence started yacking in my brain last night.
     Let's look at the number 86.  August is my mother's birth month.  June is one of my sister's birth months.  8 + 6 = 14.  4 + 1 = 5.  The number 5 is a breadcrumb from my dad whose birthday was in May.  Also my grandfather and my Aunt Mary, who were born in May.  And my son was born on the 5th day of the month of January (1).  Just a little "hello, we're here" reminder.
     And then there is this:

      In the year 1986, until the very last day on my birthday, I was 23.  2 + 3 = 5.  Five again!  If you add 1, 9, 8, and 6, you get 24.  I was 24 when I married my first husband in the month of April (4).  Also, 2 + 4 = 6.  June is the month my first bestest friend growing up was born.  And my daughter was born on the fourth (4) day of the second (2) month.  Hello from Kevin.  
     There are many other interpretations here, this is just skimming the surface.  Cause I got things to do, places to go, and people to see today.  My main take-away from today's first breadcrumb-of-the-day (BOTD, from henceforth) is Dad, Grandaddy, Kevin, and Aunt Mary say "good morning" and to EIGHTY-SIX that doubt, girlie-gal.  
     What's your BOTD?

A Bowl of Cherries

     Alright, my friends.  Today I want to teach you a little bit about The Spiritual Breadcrumb Trail.  Breadcrumbs are like notes from Heaven.  Messages from your loved ones on The Otherside.  You can call them Othersiders or Heavenly Travelers.  They communicate with you constantly.  You just have to pay attention.

        Three nights ago, I dreamed I was on a business trip with a group of colleagues.  I was in my hotel room watching television, and President Obama came in.  In the dream, he was part of our team.  He sat on the bed next to me and offered me what he called Washington cherries.  They were HUGE - about the size of apples, and a most beautiful shade of red.  But, this dream was so vivid that I recalled every detail when I woke up the next morning.  I wrote it all down in my dream journal.  Writing it out helps you to pick out the symbolism of even the most seemingly irrelevant thing.  I'll elaborate.

      A hotel symbolizes a temporary respite or escape from life.  To dream you are watching television represents your mind and its flowing thoughts.   A figure representing a president symbolizes authority, control, and power; perhaps you are taking charge of your life, especially if the president appears as an equal in your dream.  Cherries represent honesty, truthfulness, sweetness and good fortune. The lyrics of the song Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries are also relevant here.  The color red signifies raw energy, force, vigor, power, courage and passion.  So you can see how the seemingly insignificant details of your dream actually mean something.  

    Here's where things get really interesting.  Today, my friend Pamela Theresa  posted about a dream she'd had last night about a man she recognized but didn't know his name.  She only remembered that he had dated Madonna.  After researching, she found Warren Beatty.  During further research, she discovered he is Shirley MacLaine's brother.  When she went to Shirley MacLaine's website, she found this:

      This is how your Heavenly Travelers work.  They want you to use your intelligence.  What fun would it be if they just handed you the answers to everything?  NONE.  

       And also, this is further validation that we are all connected.  What are the odds that cherries would be relevant for two friends just days apart from each other?  Slim to none.  Because our Heavenly Travelers are all working together.
     

This Little Light of Mine

Photo credit:  bitowhimsy.com

     Do you remember this song by The Fifth Dimension?  It is from the musical Hair; the actual title of the song is "Aquarius", but it became to be known as "Let the Sunshine In."   The musical debuted in 1967, I was only 5, but I loved this song from the first moment I heard it.  I loved it even more once I was old enough to understand more of the words and the actual concept of the lyrics.  Just hearing these folks sing "let the sunshine in" jazzed me mightily.  You see, I have lived a great deal of my life in deep darkness caused by other people's discord.  Someone was always dimming my little light.  I have always prayed for peace, initially because of the chaos surrounding me. 

     My little light has been nearly extinguished more times than I can count.  Thanks to my Heavenly Travelers, my loved ones on The Otherside, many inspirational things have come my way just when I needed them most.  For that I am ever grateful.  If you don't think this has happened for you, look deeper.  Not a single one of us here could do this "human" thing without Divine Guidance.

     So, I will share with you one of the very best quotes that ever came my way.  I love this so much, I printed it out and framed it.  It is a quote from Ayn Rand's book Atlas Shrugged.  Here is what she says:

                  "Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless

                    swamps of the approximate, the no-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.

                    Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life

                    you deserved, but have never been able to reach.  Check your road and

                    the nature of your battle.  The world you desired can be won.  It exists,

                    it is real, it is possible, it is yours."

      If you are struggling, lost in the darkness of whatever you're dealing with, just know the light is waiting for you.  You only have to let it in.

Make Your Own Kind of Music

Artist Unknown

     Sing your own special song.  I can still hear Mama Cass Elliot's voice singing this from what seems like a hundred lifetimes-ago.  It's funny, the things that get stuck in your brain.  Pay attention to those that reawaken from time to time and go pinging around in your head.  Those are messages, some planted before you were "aware" here, like seeds of knowledge that will only bloom when the garden of your heart is ready for them to grow.

     There is another song, by Heart, called "Sing Child", that resonates with me as the same message.  Part of the lyrics are "sooner or later, you're gonna break down and sing."  In a very enchanting series of novels called The Tufa Novels, the Tufa each have their own individual song.  It's part of what makes them who they are.  If they forget their song, they can't ride the night wind.  

     I have lost my identity so many times in my life trying to sing someone else's song.  It's ok to learn someone else's melody, especially so you can sing it to them when they forget it.  But you have to know your own tune by heart first.  So practice your personal symphony!